The NON-Canon Couples Thread of Non-Canony Crazy!

[taranova]

I am doing it.

You'll NEVER GUESS which prompts are mine.

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

Hey Tara. Taraaaaa. TARA. Lookit! I'm pretty sure this is official art:



lololol BONES couldn't leave the RoyEd fanservice in the first anime it seems

as long as we're talkin' official art/canon/whatnot, I bet Winry is cool with sharing as long as she gets to watch

[taranova]

OH MY GOD THAT IS AMAZING ON SOME MANY LEVELS.

come on, Roy, you know you wanna tap that, look at that mutual wanton stare

LMAO! I could handle some RoyEdWin. XD Hmm. Intriguing.

[taranova]

This doesn't really fit here but it made me LOL:

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

Dude, RoyEdWin is awesome and you should think it is awesome. Winry and Ed are forever swingers, in my head - I blame fanon! - and Roy is not one to look a gift horse (lol horse) in the mouth. Scenario: Ed is with Winry but has a Thing for Roy, Winry likes to watch, and Roy gets double the sexy blond/es. Everyone wins! (It's much more difficult to pull off in the first animeverse, what with the whole lolwhoops-killed-yer-parents deal, but still.)

ALSO I FOUND AN AWESOME ROYED FIC THAT YOU SHOULD READ IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY, IT IS RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS: Dystychiphobia. It has gore and psychopathy! You like gore and psychopathy!

Exclamation points!

[taranova]

THAT IS A TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE SCENARIO. D8 WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME GOOD IDEAS THAT I WANT TO WRITE BUT CAN'T BECAUSE I HAVE TOO MANY OTHER THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT!?!?

That -is- an awesome fic! I was looking at the archives on my phone yesterday like I always do, pessimistic about finding anything good, when that lifesaver showed up! It's brilliant. And you're right, lol, gore and psychopathy are up my alley. >:3

...So, I really want to make a RoyEd AMV with the Katy Perry song ET. Should I be smote?

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

Prompt claiming is open at fma_slashfest! omg there are so many wonderful prompts I can't decide ;~; and I know I wouldn't be able to meet the deadline and I'd probably be too shy to post anything but these prompts are so wonderful and argh

Some of my favorites that AREN'T my prompts:

-Ed/Ling: I'll steal you away with me (no, really, middle-of-the-night imperial ninja kidnap to Xing)
-(Emperor) Ling/Al: They inspire each other to new heights of creativity in the bedroom. And in the hot springs, the peach orchard, the martial arts studio, and that one time in a moving palanquin that seemed like a good idea at the time but kind of wasn't.
-Hei/Ed: Ed's dorky first time. How nerdy can two adorable little nerds be about sex? Very.
-Garfiel/Armstrong – pink toenail polish and breakfast in bed
-Roy/Ling (or Ling/Roy) – State dinners are boring. Let’s liven this up
-Ed/Ling – moving in, "fuck, of course you'd be a morning person!"
-Winry/Rose – (manga) Remember adorable goober manga Rose's adorable goober crush on Winry in Chapter 81? And how she draws her a bath and gushes about Winry's awesomeness while Winry lies there all naked and wet, and for a minute there it almost looks like there might be some kind of adorable goober seduction? Well, given Winry was hiding out with Rose in Lior for like, the entire winter … please take that idea and run with it. Comedy is loved, mention of implicit Ed/Win UST is cool with me but isn't necessary.
-Havoc/Ed – Jean Havoc's a romantic. What happens when he tries to use those tactics on Ed?
-Roy/Ed - Post-Promised-Day, they are roped into babysitting for a ten-year-old Selim Bradley
-Darius/Heinkel – retirement is the best part of living
-Ling/Havoc – upon discovering beer, the emperor took to the streets with great and wild abandon…
-Ed/Ling – modern-day AU, Ed is a college student and Ling works in the financial aid office
-Ed/Alfons Heiderich – One of them just wants to do something nice/romantic for the other, but everything he tries to do goes wrong
-Lan Fan/Catherine Armstrong - to learn a second language
-Miles/Scar – this is possibly the worst way to go about repopulating our nation, but…
-Lan Fan/May- “You’re more beautiful with that automail arm”
-Ed/Ling- “Not in public!”
-Gracia/any female character – rejoining the world
-Ed/Ling – Ling has clearly had a lot of practice polishing his swords
-Al/Scar – Equivalent trade, I still owe you
-Maria/Catherine Armstrong: She didn't expect her boss's sister to be so, well, cute
-Roy/Ed – Roy finds Ed in his coat fast asleep
-Ed/Roy – Edward was born earlier, so when he becomes a State Alchemist to save his brother Al, war breaks out and he gets to pulled into the horrors of Ishbal, fighting at the side of the Flame Alchemist
-Lust/Riza – Instead of Havoc, Lust ended up with Riza. Lust thinks that even if she might have had an easier time manipulating a man, it wouldn't have been nearly as rewarding.
-Winry/Paninya – Winry has an automail fetish
-Olivier/Gracia – post-series, the art of wooing has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations! (bonus points for Olivier enlisting Roy's aid)
-Havoc/Ed – their particular brand of flirting
-Ed/? – I would swim in the deepest milky pool to save you.
-Ed/Roy: Ed sucks at relaxing, do-nothing vacations, Roy loves them. They've got a whole two weeks somewhere sunny and very remote, and two days in, Roy would be loving this if not for the fact that Ed is climbing the walls from boredom and getting unbearable. Bickering, negotiation and underhand means of persuasion ensue
-Lan Fan/Maria Ross – cultural liaison
-Ed/Ling: kinbaku
-Winry/Rose: first kisses - I'll teach you how to bake a pie
-Ed/Ling – A political disaster of international proportions.
-Riza/Rebecca: Men suck, let's make out
-Ed/Ling: The Princess and the Cowherd (Altair and Vega) - post-manga reunion
-Riza/Rebecca – this one time, in boot camp…
-Gracia/Riza- Thanks for keeping me company


@tara: BECAUSE THAT IS MY JOB. I DROP IDEAS AND RUN. Also my own FMA WIP list is terrifying, so I foist my inanity upon others so they will do it so I don't have to XDD

ffnet is funny. The FMA section is mostly shit and most updates yield nothing worth reading, but occasionally awesome stuff pops up - it just takes a good eye. And yes, I KNOW YOU TOO WELL <3

I don't know this song so I can't say. LINKS PLZ and then your judgment shall commence.

[taranova]

I AM SO TAKING HALF THESE PROMPTS, DAMN IT. I have a stupid question, though. I visited there and I can't figure out how to join or anything. Am I dumb? D: Help!

Really, now? I have three giftfics I'm working on, the final Blue update plus an epilogue, and a new chapter for Fallen; besides that I have an idea list about two pages long. I'm hopeless when it comes to this crap.

The FMA section has been overrun by Mary-Sues, uninspiring canon writers, mind-numbing AUs, and idiotic, pointless PWPs. Not that I have a problem with PWP, but if you're going to completely butcher the characters and the English language, don't bother. It's no longer hot. It's annoying.

>.> No.

30 SECONDS TO MARS WAS CREATED FOR THEM, THOUGH. <3

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

^ Heeee, and again, those are only my absolute most favorite prompts. There are LOADS more! Anyway I claimed this one for fic because it's so bizarre and yet oddly appealing:

Ed/Ling – modern-day AU, Ed is a college student and Ling works in the financial aid office

You are not dumb! You just don't waste as much time on LJ as I do :B First, go to the profile here: fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/profile

From there, look at the far right-hand top corner. Find the little icon that looks like this: next to the word "Join" AND THEN CLICK IT

The list of prompts, again, is here: fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/1077.html#cutid1 You can only have three claims at a time; when you've finished those, you can come back and get more. Each prompt can be claimed three times for fic and three times for art.

My FMA WIP list: 16 long chapterfics, 7 short chapterfics, 27 oneshots, and 3 collections - one collection with 5 fics, one with 100, and one with 18 and counting. YOU ARE NOT ALONE MY FRIEND

So much of the canon-compliant fic at ffnet is same old, same old, and NOT in a good way. I have certain EdWin authors I trust, but for the most part most FMA writers at ffnet don't write EdWin the way I see it at ALL. It's because, with EdWin being canon confirmed in the manga and the manga fen dominating the fanbase at the moment, EdWin is the go-to pair for the younger, new-to-fandom-and-writing crowd. Not hating or anything - we've all been there - it just makes finding GOOD fic, fic written by people who know what they're doing, difficult to find.

It's really frustrating because I love the pair but so many of the shippers drive me bonkers. Ah, I feel like that crotchety old gramma telling those pesky kids to get offa my lawn :B RoyEd can also have that problem, especially in the first anime fandom, in that it's the go-to slash pair. And THEN you get the new writers who, in addition to being young and inexperienced, are writing slash/gay peeps for the first time and often fuck that up miserably.

PWP is only hot when it has the characterization down. I go in it for the specific characters; if they're not recognizable as the specific characters, it's just any other generic porn. No thanks.

NO? NO WHAT? I AM CONFUSE

I STILL DON'T KNOW WAT IS TALKING ABOUT, EDUCATE ME

[taranova]

Ha, I can totally see you making that prompt work. XD I personally dislike college/high school AUs, because there are very few writers that can make it work. I have faith in you, Crow!

Thanks for the tutorial. '^-^

I picked these, predictably:
27 Roy/Ed – desert heat and sand are horrible for automail
12 Maes/Ed – car ride
9 Winry/Girl!Ed – Exploring new feelings

The challenge is to infuse them with my own particular brand of darkness, because I don't write anything unless it's even slightly dark. And hey, the Winry/Girl!Ed thing will give me an excuse to actually write it! YOU WROTE THAT PROMPT, DIDN'T YOU. YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE. I already have tons of ideas.

o.o Holy fuck. Write, Crow, write! Where do you find the time to COME UP with these? You'd be a huge contributor to the fandom with that many fics!

Agreed. I've honestly never read EdWin because EdWin fics just don't intrigue me to start with, and now that they're being commandeered by all of these newbies (I feel bad saying that) there's even less for me to want to read. I don't even check the fanfiction archives much anymore because I have so little faith that there's going to be something worthwhile. I've given in and started reading grammar-raping fics just because there's no other way to get my fix.

Hey, RoyEd is my OTP, and I totally agree with you. :/ I sometimes feel ashamed of my fellow shippers, especially the teenyboppers who are stuck on the "YAOI IS SO HOT LET'S TOTALLY FUCK WITH THE INTEGRITY OF THE UNIVERSE" trap.

Porn must be in-character, damn it!

I mentioned I was tempted to make a RoyEd AMV, remember? XD

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

College/high school and modern-day AUs are so, so very much my weak point, but I almost never like what other people write, because the majority of them follow the same AU pattern used in every other fandom ever. So much of what I love about FMA - the culture and history of Amestris, the character backstories, the themes - are stripped away and ignored in favor of embracing generic cut-and-paste teen lit stereotypes. NO! Where's the experimentation, the variety? The purpose of AU is to try something new based off the old (the canon) not mangle it into a Twilight-esque mockery of the source material! You should not be able to mistake AU for original fic!

...I have a lot of feelings TwT

No problem! I lurked on LJ for close to five years before creating an account, so yeah XD; it takes time to figure everything out.

I feel like shouting to the world: LOOKIT LOOKIT TARA IS WRITING EDWIN! Hee, actually, I didn't, because I was certain someone else would ask for it, and I was right. Oh and real quick - I think the rule with genderswap is that the character has to always have been that gender.

I DON'T FIND THE TIME! They come to me out of nowhere, whether I have the time to write them down or not! The problem is, I never finish anything argh. I get a base idea and then I have trouble elaborating on it. Some of these I've been working on for YEARS. And most of the stuff I write, I don't post...I have over 150k words of disconnected FMA fic that I'll never post because it's either shit/perpetually unfinished/the same crap I've written over and over/etc.

Don't feel bad about avoiding newbiefic - we're not obligated to read their stuff, or give them a grand tour of fandom or whatnot. It's cool when oldtimers step up to be fandom mentors, but not a requirement. For the most part the newbies - again, mostly younger fans - have their own area of fandom, where they can experiment and learn and figure out their place in the grand scheme of fandom as a whole.

You know ScimitarSmile and Touka Koukan? They've both been updated with new fic recently! Everything on both of those sites = awesome. THERE IS NO NEED TO SUFFER THROUGH BADFIC unless you ship a rarepair sobsob If you're interested, I have any number of EdWin authors I could rec out.

I get seriously squicked by straight chick slashers who treat gay like a fetish and can't separate their fictional fetish from reality. YES, it's okay to think hot gay guys are hot together! NO, that does not mean that they exist to please you and it does not mean you have any right to their relationship/bodies! It's just as gross as straight guys who get off on lesbian porn but then see real lesbians as sex objects instead of real people. EMPATHY, HOW DOES IT FUCKING WORK?

RoyEd is the most prevalent slash pair in FMA fandom, thus, it gets the teenybopper treatment, just like EdWin. It meas they both have lots of fic - but lots of that fic is newb writing. You just can't win.

[PuzzleChick]

@ Crow: One of the prompts in your list of favorites is one of the ones I submitted! BETCHA CAN'T GUESS WHICH.

Also I am saddened that the only two Greed/Ling prompts were both from me. I was hoping someone else would submit some so I could steal them. >.< Stealing my own prompts would be pathetic. Why must I ship rarepairs Crowwwww come sympathize with me OTL. On the plus side, someone DID claim my other prompt, so at least one of them will be written. ^^;

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

^ HAY, the GreedLing ice cream prompt was supposed to be on my big list of favorites! WHERE DID IT GO (and I recognized that one as your right away, gotta say xD)

SYMPATHY ~~~~~ Both of our pairs are ones that are more popular in Japan than in the English-speaking fandom, it seems...

Was the prompt about Ed or Alfons failing forever at being romantic yours? I'm guessing either that one or the girl!Ed and girl!Ling in Xing adventure. (For those curious, I made six prompts, and only one was HeiEd. GUESS.)

[taranova]

I've only read a few good high school AUs, and most of the time the author incorporated symbols/characters/backstories to fit in the high school atmosphere. For instance, Ed and Al made some kind of mistake and Al became horrifically ill/died while Ed lost his limbs. Plot's an issue though. The only purpose of high school AUs seems to be putting the characters into been there, done that romantic plots. Sometimes, maybe Hohenheim is beating on Ed, but that's about as far as any actual CONFLICT is concerned.

YOU DON'T EVEN GO TO THIS SCHOOL!!

I have an LJ but I never use it because no one ever looks at it. XD I don't see the point of LJ.

Don't you tell anyone that Tara is writing EdWin! D: Her slash fans will feel betrayed and her het fans will ask me if I'm finally leaving the dark side! Actually, it's kind of cheating because it's still a slash pairing. XD For some reason, maybe because I'm gay, I don't like writing about heterosexual sex. It doesn't appeal to me. Gay sex? Lesbian sex? Hot stuff, bring it on. I've already got tons of ideas for this one, mainly Fem!Ed being insecure about her body and her perceived asexuality, and Winry's all like, "BITCH, YOU HOT. FUCK ME."

Oh, I know. I hate genderswap where the character "becomes" female. That's as stupid as mpreg, in my opinion. It usually just invites ridiculous cliches and excuses to turn "icky gay pairings" into "normal" ones. You remember that author who wrote a fic about how much she hated RoyEd? Apparently she HATES RoyEd, of course, but ships RoyFem!Ed. What the fuck? >.<

Well, at least you're getting lots of practice! You should finish some of your best stuff over the summer, because I want to read it! You don't have that much stuff on your page, considering how much you write. XD I mean, Jesus Christ. I can't even fathom having THAT many ideas and ongoing stories.

HAVE THEY? Awesome-sauce. I love both of them. I get jealous when I read the shit on ScimitarSmile. It's fantastic. Sometimes, a little too mainstream and bland for my tastes, but still better than the crap you find on fanfiction.net. And, lol. I'm not a fan of EdWin. Still have no interest in reading about them, even if the fic is good. They make me sick to my stomach.

XD Yeah, that is kind of a double standard. But I get even MORE frustrated with fangirls who like yaoi but don't support gay rights. It seems hypocritical to me. I have a friend who writes slash/watches gay porn but doesn't think gays should be able to get married or adopt children because it runs contrary to her beliefs. It's kind of like men who like watching girls make out, but if the girls want to get married? They go batshit. Some guy, a Christian and a twenty-four year old, wanted to bang me, and he asked if me and my ex wanted to make out for him and have a threesome. The night before he was ranting against gays and how they all deserved to go to hell.

Kind of off-topic. Sorry. XD

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

Personally I can't stand the "Everyone's Human/Normal!" AU setup. No-alchemy FMA AUs confuse and infuriate me > I prefer that the character backstories stay as intact as possible, unless changing them is the point of the AU. But high school AU isn't a very dynamic scenario in the first place - it doesn't allow for a lot of plot, like you said. If the point of high school AU is to put the characters in high school, well, there's only so much that can be done in a high school setting xD;

When I was visiting my best friend's college, I sat in on a conversation about a big upcoming campus event. I asked a question at one point and one of my friend's suitemates looked at me, confused, and loudly said "You don't even go here!" It was awesome.

NO ONE EVER LOOKS AT IT BECAUSE YOU NEVER USE IT YOU SILLY THING. LJ is good for making whiny journal posts, spamming people, and chatting in communities. It's actually a pretty cool format, once you get to know it.

All right, all right, I won't! And yes, it certainly is cheating. It is GLORIOUS FEMMESLASH, which is always relevant. For me, het sex depends on the pairing and how it's written - and the chick has to top ^^; I LOOK FORWARD TO READING YOUR TAKE ON THIS <3

We-ll, I like genderwap when it's done RIGHT. When it's an excuse to circumvent teh gay, then it's really groce. THAT "AUTHOR" IS GROCE, TARA. GROCE. But the right author can make it really hot, even cute. Also! When both of them get switched. "oh hey new parts let us test them out!"

By "best stuff" you mean my RoyEd WIPs, correct? x) At the moment, I have three - a silly short chapterfic, and two serious long oneshots. Thus far I have...started one of the oneshots <_< See, I have all these works in progress, but you need to understand my idea of "progress." "Progress" might mean I maybe typed a paragraph or two of actual fic and wrote up a synopsis of what happens. Some are more complete than others, but still. I JUST KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED :B

Awww T_T Well, I can still rec new author additions to you! Some of the best RoyEd authors also write EdWin, which is why I mentioned it, heh. I hang out on LJ so much because the FMA fandom there is awesome. Lots of multishippers, lots of canon het fans who also slash. I ENJOY IT.

Dude I think we're talking about the same people here. They are groce. GROCE. And that guy is foul. If you ever have the displeasure of running into him again, give him a fake email address and get his real one, and then sign him up for a bunch of hardcore gay leather bear porn sites. /I'm-totally-a-good-role-model-for-small-children-no-really

topic what is topic I don't know what that word means