The NON-Canon Couples Thread of Non-Canony Crazy!

[taranova]

YAY! I WIN EVERYTHING

And lol. XD I can imagine that.

God: Son, you can't go burning down people's churches, no matter how much they piss you off--aaww, who am I kidding? Come here, son!
Jesus: Daddy

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

okay so I have no words for how happy this made me:



Photobucket sucks and shrank it, the full size version is here.

[taranova]

D': SO BEAUTIFUL...

I have to admit, I have a fascination with EdHei recently. It's not as potent as my fascination with RoyEd, but it's getting there. Almost.

Crow! Make me some HeiEd fic recommendations! FMA fanfic writers suck balls recently! D:

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

Being asked for HeiEd fic recs IT IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE *A*


-I forget whether or not you've read Mirrorworld, but of course that's always at the top of my reclist and at close to 300k words now, it'll keep you busy for a while xD

Other HeiEd stuff by ketita:
*Diaspora: Movie AU, eventual slight HeiEd UST but more plotty than anything else. WIP
*A Small World: Movie AU, silly, may or may not even have HeiEd as a pairing because uh...you'll see when you read it. WIP.
*Temper: Short oneshot. Complete.
*(untitled): Short silly oneshot PWP, crossdressing. Complete.
*Solitude: Short depressing oneshot. Complete.
*Acclimation: Short silly oneshot. Complete.


-Cryogenia:
*Abide In Me: Dark oneshot. Post-movie, Sadafons dubcon smut and horror. Complete.
*The Faint Lumens of Counterglow: Oneshot, UST. Complete.
*One Summer's Afternoon: Fluffy oneshot, part of a cycle. Complete.
*Sky Fits Heaven: Short oneshot, sweet and introspective. Complete.
*Too Much Sugar: Post-movie AU oneshot, silly and sweet. Complete.
*All Other Instruments: Post-movie AU short oneshot, bittersweet that's heavy on the sweet. Complete.
*Drink With Me: Vampire!Fons short smutty oneshot. Complete.
*Somnambulus: Angsty oneshot, implied Elricest. Complete.
*All's Fair: PWP oneshot, silly. Complete.
*The Hackers: Cyberpunk AU oneshot, cowritten with Mikkeneko. Tentacle rape (no, seriously.) Complete.
*Well Spent: Silly oneshot, cowritten with Mikkeneko. Complete.
*Alter Ego: Oneshot, fluffy smutty genderswitch. Complete.
*Breathe: Short oneshot PWP. Complete.
*Melting Point: Short fluffy oneshot with a fucking gorgeous illustration. Complete.
*A Lifetime: Short bittersweet oneshot, post-movie. Absofuckinglutely beautiful prose...one of my favorite pieces ever. Complete.
*Good Girls Don't: Sequel to Alter Ego. Oneshot, silly and sweet PWP, genderswitch. Complete.
*404 Error: Ficlets based off of HTTP status codes, cowritten with Hime1999. Some smut, some angst, some fluff. Complete.
*Siren and Wave: PWP oneshot. Complete.
*Echo and Fade: PWP oneshot, sequel to Siren and Wave. Complete.
*The Intimate Details of Rocket Design: PWP oneshot cowritten with asingulargirl. Silly fluff, abuse of rockets. Complete.
*Taking Off: PWP oneshot, sequel to The Intimate Details of Rocket Design. Silly and fluffy and also deliciously sappy. More abuse of rockets! Complete.
*Propriety: PWP oneshot, with fluff, silliness, and culture shock. Also sap. Complete.
*Munchausen's Flight: PWP oneshot, angst and bittersweet. Complete.


-Militsa:
*In My Room: Oneshot, horror that turns into depressing and sap. Complete.
*Cheating Hearts: Angsty oneshot. Complete.
*Holiday in Sodom: HeiEd through alter!Gracia's eyes. Long oneshot, complete.
*Absolute Zero: Movie rewrite of epic and awesome, INCOMPLETE AND ON INDEFINITE HIATUS.
*Magnet: Bittersweet that's heavy on the bitter, complete. lololol you've read this one :B
*Come, Josephine / Pistols at Dawn / Tourist: Three-part angsty fic, movie rewrite. Complete.
*Hothouse Flowers: Short oneshot, hurt/comfort. Complete.
*Songs for the Fatherland: Short oneshot PWP. Complete.
*One Winter Night: Part of a cycle. Short bittersweet oneshot. Complete.


-Tir-Synni:
*First Day of Eternity: Very short oneshot. Depressing, complete.
*Be There: Short bittersweet oneshot. Depressing, complete.
*Sleepless: Vampire!Fons oneshot PWP, dubcon. Complete.
*Discarded Theory: Silly short oneshot. Complete.


-Kaltia:
*Snapshots: Fifty one-sentence HeiEd ficlets, some Elricest, some PWP. Complete.
*Pieces of Autumn: Fourteen porny ficlets. Complete.
*Change Ringing: Short angsty oneshot. Complete.
*Slow Burn: Short oneshot, complete.
*Snowfall: Short fluffy oneshot. Complete.
*Goodnight: Oneshot, vaguely implied Elricest, some smut, some angst, some fluff. Complete.


Note that all of the fics by these authors are amazing, not just their HeiEd stuff. Kaltia is probably my favorite Elricest author; reading Once Upon A Time is part of what convinced me to like the pair despite my misgivings because HOLY CRAP. Cryogenia's got some excellent RoyEd, too

Stuff by other authors, also all lovely:

-Nonsensical Circles: Adventure and angst. Complete.
-Oktoberfest with Ed and Hei: Short silly oneshot, crossdressing. Complete.
-Life's Blood: Short oneshot, hurt/comfort. Complete.
-The Only Way To Go: Rape recovery. Hurt/comfort, intensely bittersweet. Complete.
-Until Then: Seven bittersweet drabbles with a heavily depressing ending. Complete.
-Smoke: HeiEd UST, short oneshot. Complete.
-Building Bridges of Magpies: Movie alternate ending - Ed sent Alfons to Amestris instead of the other way around. Roy/Alfons smut with Alfons pining for Ed, hinted onesided Roy->Ed. Complete but how I wish there was more >_>
-Dawn Was On The Road: Short oneshot, hurt/comfort. Complete.
-Believe: Short angsty oneshot, some hurt/comfort. Complete.
-Misunderstandings: Silly and sweet oneshot. Complete.
-Undiluted: Oneshot, complete.


lol say goodbye to any free time you might have had for the rest of forever

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAY HOW LONG THAT TOOK TO TYPE UP :B

AND THERE ARE ACTUALLY LOTS MORE! I WILL POST THEM LATER THOUGH, WHEN IT'S NOT SO LATE AT NIGHT. HALP I AM STUCK IN A CAPSLOCK FACTORY

[taranova]

JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER. D: Thank you, Crow!! This'll keep me busy until I graduate in all likelihood.

Speaking of HeiEd, I beta'd a fic for a friend of mine, and she hasn't gotten many reviews for it yet. If any of you had the time, would you please read it? www.fanfiction.net/s/6659572/1/Cold
Thanks.

[taranova]

Dudes. Flame this fucker for me:
browse.deviantart.com/?q=royed&order=9&offset=48&offset=96#/d2wgz36

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

Jan 24, 2011 21:51:12 GMT -5 taranova said:

Dudes. Flame this fucker for me:
browse.deviantart.com/?q=royed&order=9&offset=48&offset=96#/d2wgz36

Ewww, look at the clubs it's in! WAY TO RUIN MY NIGHT, STUPID DEVIANTART PERSON >:(

Here's what you do: leave a comment consisting of nothing but YMMV (alternatively, YKINMK. Or both) and a link to the TVTropes page. They'll lose at least six hours to the endless clicking of links. OR OR EVEN BETTER - make a sockpuppet account, pretend to sympathize, and try to bait them into posting an angry and uninformed rant on fanficrants - they'll be flamed into next century, and we're in need of a Macro Amnesty Day anyway :D

Also, that is one damn shitty-ass ugly graphic. If you're going to be an asshole, at least have the grace do so with style.

Bastard doesn't even manage to get their vocabulary right. It's ephebophilia, not pedophilia. I mean, I'm pretty sure 16 is the age of consent in Amestris - it'd make sense, given real-world parallels. (Hell, 16 is the age of consent in my state. It's not that uncommon) They'd have to worry more about fraternization on the legal front, and that's if Amestris even has rules against fraternization - it's never discussed in canon. And maybe some legal issues because Roy is Ed's legal guardian, but that depends on the age of majority in Amestris...

LOGIC. It fixes everything :D

AND FOR THE STUFF LOGIC DOESN'T FIX:
(cut for lulzy CrowTP that's not necessarily worksafe...it's worksafe until you look at it closely, and then it's really really not XD;)

SPOILER: Click to show

YES, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.

AND FOR THE STUFF THAT DOESN'T FIX IN THE WORLD OF TARA:



DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS ED EVEN IF THEY DO HAVE GOOD CANDY

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, here is Alfons rocking the Wii while Ed fails forever in the corner:



ALSO COSPLAY ROYED:

SPOILER: Click to show

[taranova]

XD You should read some of the comments I posted (I can't see it on my Taranova account anymore because the dickless wonder blocked me). I think I got a little harsh, but it's never too harsh when it comes to my OTP. <3 I feel the same way about RoyEd as Dearheart feels about EdWin.

Because you see, the arguments against it are as flawed as the ones against civil unions (and that's just an example). It isn't pedophilia. If it was twelve-year-old Ed? Yes, that would be insanely creepy. But like you said, it's ephebophilia, and even then it's a stretch. Mentally, Edward is far more intelligent and capable of having adult relationships than most adults. I think that deep down, people are squicked out by the fact that they're both male, but don't want to admit it.

Are there insane fangirls? Yes, there are insane fangirls for every pairing you'll ever see. But does it never occur to these fans that by bashing a FICTIONAL pairing about FICTIONAL people simply because they don't agree with it, THEY look like the crazy ones?

Sigh. I could go on. It just pisses me off when I'm looking for icons and I get one that's defiling the very subject I love. >.>

Anyway, I'm definitely creating a mule. This should be fun. I hope they fall for it. >:3

AND YAY SLASHY PICS FOR TARA <3333 ...IS that what I think it is? o.o Oh dear lord. ...Edward has good knitting skills...? >.> LMAO!

D'aaaaww.
D'AAAAWW.

I love that cosplay group. They always do so well. <3

[taranova]

I luffles you, Crow. <3

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

^ THE LUFFLES, THEY ARE MUTUAL <3


I'd read your comments except even thinking about the (badly designed) graphic and the clubs it's in makes me sick to my stomach, literally. Maybe when it's not a Friday and I'm not dead on my feet XD;

See, I can be an vengeful HeiEd shipper too, but I'm more of a Slytherin than a Gryffindor and I am *sneaky* about my revenge instead of running into the fray in a blaze of righteous fury. Most of the time. Sometimes I can't help it and I flame the shit out of 'em, but that's only with the really bad ones, and only if I know enough about the subject to feel completely superior, and only if I'm in a place where I won't get dogpiled for it, soooo Slytherin after all XDDD

Speaking as someone who acts in loco parentis for kids, I can see the squick factor with Roy/Ed when Ed is a teenager, because Roy is his guardian figure whether or not Ed sees him that way. Even if Ed is oblivious to their power differences and ignores Roy's authority over him, Roy as a professional is aware of the power he holds and boinking Ed despite knowing that it's BADFAILWRONG for someone in his position to do? That's squicky to me, and how squicky depends on how it's written. If Ed doesn't initiate it, it's squicky to me (the good kind of squicky if it's MEANT to be squicky, though.) If Roy doesn't angst to hell and back about it, it's squicky to me.

It's something I can see rationalized (through damn good writing) in FMA world because of Ed's character and all that he's been through and how quickly he's had to grow up, but real life is an ENTIRELY different story. The rules of FMA world are different from real-world rules (twelve-year-olds in the military, in a society that sees children as precious/would frown on child soldiers in any other circumstance) and I take that into account when reading/writing the pair with kiddo Ed.

Not all of the peeps squicked by RoyEd are anti-slash - I know a few slashers who just are uncomfortable with the power difference. What you'll notice is that those people aren't the ones making a big fuss about it. The really outspoken anti-RoyEd crowd is mostly made of peeps who "don't support" slash in the first place, and don't put much thought into it or into anything, really.

SO BASICALLY I AGREE WITH YOU XD There are reasons to not like RoyEd that have nothing to do with what's in their pants, but the most vocal haters are homophobic douchewads anyway.

One of my proudest internet moments was: some chick was arguing against slash because "it pairs up characters who hate each other, like Roy and Ed!" First, I told her lol not always, why do you think your kind are always whining that slashers are "ruining the sanctity of platonic friendships?" Then I completely deconstructed the argument that Roy and Ed hate one another, complete with caps/scans and character analysis. Chick sheepishly admits that she had never watched or read FMA, once saw a scene from ep13 of Roy and Ed fighting, and everything else she knew about FMA came from anti-yaoi rhetoric. I will never stop gloating about this :B

AND DUDE I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION. With me, it's stuff being labeled as HeiEd but it's just a bait-and-switch. That sorta thing – fics labeled as HeiEd and HeiEd only when it’s really Ed/whoever the fuck else – happens all the time. Finding English-language HeiEd fic I haven’t already read is like finding Waldo, except Waldo is hiding in a funhouse mirror maze and I’ve been blindfolded with his jock strap.

Also you know what sucks? I mostly see this for Roy/Ed - fics that say Roy/Ed in the summary, so they'll come up if you search for Roy/Ed, but it's all "lol PARENTAL Roy/Ed." IS NOT HOW FORWARD SLASH WORKS.

YES

IT IS A POCKET FOR ALFONS'S ROCKET

[taranova]

The bastard blocked me without even considering any of my points. But I was very proud of those points. When I'm offended by something, I get very, very angry and mean. I can only hope I haven't driven some poor unsuspecting anti-RoyEd fanbrats to suicide. o.o To be honest I get sick thinking about the abundant amount of badly designed anti-FMA-yaoi graphics on DA. Maybe it's just me, but I really almost want to cry sometimes.

I found another one today. In the description box, the person goes, "It's the highest possible form of disrespect to pervert the characters of a writer by making them gay. FMA doesn't deserve these 'fans.'" Implying that because I like slash, I'm not a "true fan."

...

FFFFFFFFFFFF--

Maybe YOU should do that surreptitious slinking through the shadows and getting them to post on fanfic rants. XD I get the feeling that, with you being such an eloquent Slytherin and all, you would be a lot more believable and convincing. XD I don't have the patience to trick people into doing things.

I like intentionally squicky stuff like you (because I find those types of fic deeper than the typical junk you might find), but I absolutely despise the unintelligent, badly-written smut that doesn't explore those issues and takes them at face-value. I hate it when everyone is just PERFECTLY OKAY with Roy screwing his underling. XD But, I've read a ton of really good fics where Roy does angst to hell and back, and so in-character that...well, that's part of the reason I adore the pairing so much. <3 You can keep them in-character and make it work despite all of the challenges.

I agree about the power difference thing. That's a perfectly fine, legitimate reason not to like it, in my opinion. It's the fans who say things like "OMFG THATS SO GROSS AND - PEDOPHILESSSS" who make me want to shoot someone in the forehead. I don't like elricest, for example, but that doesn't mean I'm going to make a hate group or a crappy graphic with some smart-ass message like "INCEST IS GRODY!!!11"

Awww, I want to see that argument! XD Was it in a forum or something? That's epic. You're so thorough about it. XD

AND DUDE I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION. With me, it's stuff being labeled as HeiEd but it's just a bait-and-switch. That sorta thing – fics labeled as HeiEd and HeiEd only when it’s really Ed/whoever the fuck else – happens all the time. Finding English-language HeiEd fic I haven’t already read is like finding Waldo, except Waldo is hiding in a funhouse mirror maze and I’ve been blindfolded with his jock strap.

It's sad. I look up stuff labeled as RoyEd and then find out in some spiteful author's note that it's not, and the author ends up saying something like, "No, this isn't RoyEd. I don't write that, gross." I don't mind parental stuff, actually. I find it super adorable. :3 In fact, I hate it when the author changes their mind halfway through a fic and turns perfectly cute parental pairings into romantic ones for no plausible reason.

THAT squicks me out.

HEHE POCKET FOR A ROCKET AHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHA

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

Dude, you're within your rights to get angry. Homophobia is a legitimate reason for screaming rage. The second I stop being angry, I'm dead. And you would have LOOOOOVED Danny Phantom fandom, I assure you.

Well, I'm really a Ravenclaw, with the sensibilities of a Hufflepuff and the motives of Slytherin. I use my learnings to forward my soapbox ideals, and sometimes use sneaky manipulation for the Greater Good. (It's a good thing I'm not evil. At least, I don't THINK I'm evil..."evil" is subjective anyway...)

Actually, I don't have the patience either, in real life. Internet makes everything easier, because I can cuss 'em out from behind the screen but suck up in what I actually type. My main reason for wanting to avoid talking with 'em is that I'm actually terrified of confrontation (seriously, but I guess I've spent too much time on ffrants because I walk right into it now, despite it making me really uncomfortable.)

So I just found this and I am now sharing because you will like it: my thoughts on your thoughts on yaoi. Also as long as we're on the subject, here, have an awesome WIP RoyEd AU: The God of Small Things.

YES THIS. That's kind of the draw of the ship, all the Issues. Those making the argument that fans ship Roy/Ed solely for the pretty mansex are MISSING THE POINT. They may be too shallow to see the potential otherwise, but that doesn't mean (all) the shippers are shallow too <_<

Like, there's this ~lovely~ fic floating around the FMA section of ff.net right now that starts with a 600 word A/N on the evils of Roy/Ed and why it's impossible for it to be in-character. In my head I side-eye the author and think, dude, just because YOU don't have the writing talent required to keep them in-character, doesn't mean the rest of us are similarly limited.

It...was actually on TS v1, the old proboards forum that has long since been relegated to the Internet Black Hole XD; I wish I'd screencapped it, or saved it or something...I might have, but I don't know where I would have put it...anyway, I'm thorough because I'm an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist terrified of being wrong, and I spend hours of writing and rewriting covering my bases. Basically I'm a pissy bitch with a vendetta and too much time XDDDDD I basically brought up the goodbye scene in episode 48 of anime v2, the 520 Cenz promise from the manga, all the times Roy looks out for Ed, stuff like that.

I loooove parental stuff - I just don't like stupid labeling. AFAIK, the forward slash has been the traditional means of indicating a romantic and/or sexual relationship. (There are some stories of that being where the term slash came from, back in Star Trek fandom, to differentiate between Spock&Kirk friendship fics, but I need to do more thorough research on this. I've heard varying stories and I don't really know which one is true XD) So to me, saying "parental" in reference to the forward slash makes me think of daddy kink XDDD; AND THAT SQUICKS ME OUT TOO.

HE HAS A ROCKET IN HIS POCKET AND IT GOES ZOOM WHEN YOU TOUCH IT

and now two pics, spoiler tag'd for size

OH MUSTANG YOU SO SEXY

SPOILER: Click to show

hnnng my heartstrings

SPOILER: Click to show

ETA: ALSO ALSO ALSO THIS IS RELEVANT AND NOT JUST ME LOOKING FOR ATTENTION - When I actually manage to finish writing a book and get it published and read by someone other than just my mom good luck with that Crow I have this dude character who, for the first part of the series, has this crush on this chick character who also has a crush on him. Stuff happens, they admit their feelings and kiss, and then he realizes that he was in love with an idea and the real thing is nothing like he imagined and then he realizes "oh shit I'm gay." And then there's angst and dude has this heartfelt discussion with his mentor who is a gay immortal werewolf English teacher who may or may not have some traits stolen from Ed and some traits stolen from some of my own English teachers, and dude eventually comes out and chick is sad but accepts it because she still loves him as a friend and everything is rainbows 'n shit.

AM I A BAD PERSON FOR WANTING TO HAVE A FANDOM JUST TO SEE HOW THIS WOULD END UP? I want to see the slashers friggin' win, for once. Have all those screeching "IT'S CANON" dipshits bashing slash be IRREVOCABLY WRONG and not even remotely justified in their asshattery.

[Packrat]

*wanders in*

SORRY FOR INTERRUPTION but I read these past couple of posts about this and couldn't help but feel somewhat ragey myself, especially considering how lately there's been a dipshit going around bitching about pairing in another fandom.

I'm normally pretty chill when it comes to pairings but I absolutely despise it when people say things like slash insults the creator/series/whatever and that you're not a true fan blahblahblah. Oh well sorry, but I didn't know you personally contacted and asked the creator about their feelings on the matter, forgive my ignorance :U

I also hate when people can't give a logical reason that doesn't make them sound like a dumbass beyond "eeewww gross DDDD:" I mean, sometimes people are just gonna dislike something and not be able to really explain why, it happens to me all the time, but when you just go with "eeeww slash" and don't bother to say anything it just makes you seem intolerant and stupid.

CROOOOW I WISH I COULD TYPE OUT LONG, LOGICAL PARAGRAPHS ON THIS SUBJECT LIKE YOU BUT I AM BAD WITH WORDS AND CURSED TO COME ACROSS AND TONGUE-TIED INCOHERENT MORON.

Also Tara these are for you, I dunno if you've seen them before but hopefully they help make you feel better all the same:

SPOILER: Click to show

fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/220/8/5/Contrast_by_Rueme.jpg

[/img]






Also long time no post, eheheheh.

[Rainbow-Lord Crowmunculus]

^ YOU ARE NOT INTERRUPTING YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME HI

There's always a dipshit (or two...or twenty...) ruining fandom for the rest of us, le sigh. Rage is a natural and justified feeling, because it's not just about fandom - fandom is a mirror of the real world. The way people behave in fandom is reflective of their real-world beliefs. If someone is bigoted in fandom, they're bigoted in real life. Case in point: Slytherin apologists, "I'm not racist in real life, only in Harry Potter." Because the whole blood purity thing wasn't an analogy to real-life racism at all! Really!

oh god the worst though is when the creator AGREES with them, even SUPPORTS them. That was the worst part of the DP drama - a lot of it took place on the official forums, and the creator of the series approved of it. The "True Fans" were like some freaky mafia, and if you had any ties to anyone who even APPROVED of slash, they'd kick you off the forums and publicly degrade you. Creator Dude, you are a rich white cis straight able-bodied Christian American male and there are no canon gay characters in anything you have ever worked on, you live an easy privileged life so SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU'RE NOT BEING HORRIBLY WRONGED BY YOUR QUEER FANS GAYING UP YOUR CHARACTERS AND BY OBJECTING THE WAY YOU DO YOU ARE BEING A HOMOPHOBIC DOUCHE, END OF STORY. Seriously, you'd think from these creators that we're shitting in their pudding or kicking their dogs. It's like the authors against fanfic who compare it to ficcers putting the author's children into white slavery (I'm not making that up.)

IT IS A GIFT AND A CURSE. I'm just a whiner by nature, and I had really good English teachers teach me how to whine effectively. Also, I whine often enough that I have lots of practice XD; In real life I babble and make an idiot of myself, don't worry! YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO INTERNET WHINE TOO, JUST KEEP TYPING AND SOONER OR LATER YOU'LL SAY SOMETHING RIGHT THAT'S HOW I DO IT