Post by PuzzleChick on Feb 6, 2012 9:41:37 GMT -5
It's here, it's here! =D
You'll be posting your final gifts on the 10th. As always, please post final gifts under a spoiler to avoid page stretchage.
Comments on gifts are welcome and loved, (gifters love seeing their giftees enjoy their work!) but let's keep them all positive. This is a thread for sharing joy, not critique, no matter how well-intentioned. And of course, no spoiling for who you think your gate baby is until the end! xD
Let's get to the gifting!
To: Artemis Day
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Celestia/Discord
Warnings: None
For Duty
“I will stop Discord.”
Luna looks at her. Really looks, with a stare too understanding for a filly.
“Are you sure?” she asks slowly.
“It’s my duty.”
“Your duty, or the Princess’s duty?” her sister asks.
Both, perhaps, she thinks.
Their childhood was irrelevant. Whatever they had been then – playmates, friends, rivals, enemies, lovers – no longer mattered, at least not to him. That had been obvious when she’d gone to him as Celestie, and he’d rebuffed her requests, demands, pleas.
He’d always known he was different. From his first days on Earth he knew he was a Thing. Not pony, not dragon, not any other creature, though Celestia had helped him search in vain for proof that he wasn’t the only one like him. In desperation she had told him – and meant it – that she liked him different. She liked that normalcy held no sway over him.
Looking at her country now, their peace torn asunder, ponies and all creatures living in uncertainty and danger, she mourned that choice. Perhaps, in some ways, this was her fault. She had encouraged the latent chaos in his soul, unable to see him in pain over what he’d simply been born as.
But now her subjects were in mortal harm. His pranks had escalated to dangerous levels, and she could never allow anyone to die because of him, whatever their past. She had played a role in creating this danger, and she would put an end to it.
If he would not cease his dangerous activities by the plea of his oldest comrade Celestie, then he would be forced to by the might of Princess Celestia.
Luna still looks at her as if she knows all that has happened, even the things she hasn’t told her. Sometimes she thinks her sister had an older soul than she should.
“I could go with you,” Luna says. “I’m a princess too–”
“No.” She gently nudges her sister aside with a hoof. “This is my fight. I will stop him, whatever the cost–”
“You won’t be able to kill him. You can’t kill somepony you love.”
She sighs, rests her cheek upon her sister’s for a moment, and leaves the room. She can’t respond to that.
She knows Luna is right.
To: Crowmunculus
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: None
Hamlet.
It was a fairly boring day, all in all. Well, for the mice, at least. Who knew what Nezumi and Sion were getting up to? The mice didn't really care, to be honest, as long as they came home safe. Hamlet was scurrying about amongst the books, and, when he returned to where Moonlight and Cravat had been, they had vanished. He sniffed, trying to locate them, to no avail. Set in his misery (he did have a penchant for tragedies, after all), he began to squeak.
Well, to a human it would have sounded like squeaking, but Hamlet was really reciting a soliloquy.
“To be, or not to be: That is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? T
o die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep...”
At this point Cravat had found his way to where Hamlet was... well, sounding a bit mental, at least to the other mouse's ears. What in the world was he doing? It should be mentioned, at this point, that Cravat didn't particularly like Shakespeare, and, as such, never bothered to remember the lines. Therefore, he took Hamlet's (the mouse) recitation of Hamlet (the character's) soliloquy to be a sign of malfunctioning software.
Much to Cravat's dismay, Hamlet only continued: “To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?”
Cravat was now certain that Hamlet's software was indeed malfunctioning, and considered if he should step in to suggest that he ask Nezumi to check him. However, Moonlight was nowhere to be found, and Cravat was a bit afraid to question the other mouse alone; after all, he thought that Hamlet had gone mad!
“Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.”
At this point, much to Cravat's relief, Moonlight returned.
“--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.”
Cravat quietly squeaked an explanation to the black mouse, and confided his fears for Hamlet's software.
“I'll take care of it,” Moonlight assured him, scampering up to Hamlet. “Are you okay? What are you doing?”
“I humbly thank you; well, well, well.”
Moonlight tilted his head to one side, confused. Cravat seemed to have a point. “Is something wrong with your software?”
“No, not I; I never gave you aught.”
What was he talking about? Moonlight beckoned for Cravat to join him. After some hesitation, the other mouse came up behind Moonlight. “What's wrong with him? Is it a software problem? Should we go find Nezumi to ask him?” Cravat squeaked.
Hamlet looked at Cravat curiously. “Ha, ha! are you honest?”
Cravat was now honestly afraid for the other mouse. “What are you talking about?”
“Are you fair?”
Moonlight turned to Cravat. “How long has he been like this?”
Cravat tilted his head. “Not very long, I think.”
Hamlet continued to have what appeared to be half of a conversation. ”That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should admit no discourse to your beauty.”
Cravat noticed that the rhythm had changed, and turned to Moonlight. “His rhythm's changed. I think he's getting worse!”
Hamlet merely continued. “Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof. I did love you once.”
“Love who?” Moonlight squeaked. “Who is he talking to?”
“There's something wrong with his software! He must be seeing things!”
Hamlet's mood seemed to change into one of anger. “You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not.”
“Moonlight, you should go find Nezumi,” Cravat implored.
Hamlet turned to them, angry. “Get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners? I am myself indifferent honest ; but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me: I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in. What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves, all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery. Where's your father?”
“What are you talking about, Hamlet? What's wrong with your software?” Moonlight asked.
“Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool no where but in's own house. Farewell.” He turned to scurry off, but turned around as Moonlight went to leave. “If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Get thee to a nunnery, go: farewell. Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go, and quickly too. Farewell.”
Moonlight was confused. He was going to get Nezumi, but Hamlet had only turned around to tell him to leave? There was definitely something wrong with the other mouse's software. Cravat had been right. “I'm going to get Nezumi!” he announced.
“I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another: you jig, you amble, and you lisp, and nick-name God's creatures, and make your wantonness your ignorance. Go to, I'll no more on't; it hath made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages: those that are married already, all but one, shall live; the rest shall keep as they are. To a nunnery, go,” Hamlet implored.
Moonlight shot off to find Nezumi. This was really too much for him; surely Nezumi would know how to fix him. He had programmed him, after all. He only hoped that Hamlet wasn't beyond all hope of repair. He was rather fond of his micely friends, and would be very sorry to see any of them be deactivated.
Once Moonlight was far gone, Hamlet turned to Cravat. “What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!”
“What's wrong with me? What was wrong with you?”
Hamlet stood up on his back paws, offended. “I was acting.”
To: Dearheart
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: EdWin
Warnings: None
When Winry’s wrench clamps down on the very top bolt, Ed cringes at the sting of pain that shoots up and down his leg. She tightens it, her face wrought with concentration, her hand resting on his upper leg. He can feel the calluses born from years of handling tools and machinery. The tip of her tongue sticks out from between her lips, and Ed can’t help but notice that she looks kind of cute this way. His face starts to heat up at the thought and he pushes it away, instead focusing on a high level alchemic equation he found in a library book the other day.
She removes the wrench and drops in on her worktable with a clatter, wiping the sweat off her brow and drawing herself up.
“Okay, you’re done,” she says. “Try not to bust it up too much this time. I don’t even know what you were thinking jumping onto that moving train.”
“It wasn’t going that fast,” Ed grumbles as he experimentally lifts the leg up and down. “And it was all that damn Envy’s fault, he ran and I had to chase him.”
“But he still got away,” Winry points out, eyeballing the leg she just fixed. “And you knocked the plating right off. Now enough, I don’t want to argue anymore.”
She adds that last part quickly, when Ed opens his mouth to form some other kind of rebuttal that will likely lead them into an all out shouting match ending with Winry’s wrench imbedded in Ed’s skull.
Ed groans like a child, but says nothing else. He crosses his arms over his chest, the automail one glimmering in the sunlight from an open window. Ed catches a whiff of something right then, something sweet that makes his mouth water. Winry takes notice and gives a sly smile.
“Oh yeah, Granny is making pie tonight,” she explains. “Since you broke your automail again, I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t offer you a piece.”
His jaw drops and she laughs playfully at the comical display. Regaining himself, Ed charges past her, a man on a mission who will not be stopped by anyone or anything.
“We’ll see about that!” he shouts over his shoulder.
Winry makes a noise of indignation and follows him, still laughing the entire way. And though Ed loathes to admit it, her laughter is highly contagious.
To: Helle is a SLYTHERIN <3
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Dr. Who/TARDIS (...I THINK)
Warnings: None
To: Neoeevee
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: None
To: Packrat
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: None
To: PiedPiperPluto
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Fem!Ling/Fem!Greed/Ran Fan
Warnings: Cracky implications of sex
Ooh Miss Greedling: A Fanfiction
Ran Fan lit candles, put on her most attractive outfit, oiled her automail, and then sat down to wait for her lover (lovers? There really needed to be a distinction for multiple souls in a single body…) to return home.
Before long, the door flew open and her girlfriend, Ling, pranced into the room. “Ran Fan! I am home now and I am looking so cute and also my shirt became unbuttoned?”
The fact that something was amiss became quickly apparent. “You’re not swooning,” Ling said.
Ran Fan had to admit, she was not.
“Why not? Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Oh yes! But…”
“But…?” Her face fell. “You don’t want to…?”
Ran Fan shifted her weight. “No, no, I want to! I was just rather hoping Greed would do the entrance…she’s very good at entering a room.”
Ling blinked. Greed, awakening from her nap inside her, took over and began marching their collective body back toward the door. “Relax, I got this,” she said, closing the door, and then opening it again and bursting inside.
“Ran Fan! I am home now and I am looking extremely sexy and also I’m wearing thigh-high boots? And my shirt is still unbuttoned.”
“Ooh Miss Greedling!” There was much swooning. “Let’s do it.”
Greed narrowed her eyes at her. “Yes. And I will let Ling back into control now.”
Meanwhile, within a fandom-wide radius of this event:
Rule 63 being confirmed.
Derpy writers derping up memes.
It was crackful.
The end.
To: PuzzleChick
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: nope.avi
A few months after being restored to human form, Alphonse asked an expected, but formidable, question. Ed had always seen it coming. They had argued about it while the younger had been in armor—sometimes with words, sometimes with actions, and sometimes with an iron silence only they as siblings could understand. It was the principle of the matter, the heart of the equation, which bothered Ed. He had authority as the elder; he had certain powers over household dignities, and he was not about to sacrifice such steel-clad resolve for the benefit of his brother’s whims.
Alphonse Elric asked for a cat.
Not a stray, either, not a whiskered feline plucked from behind a dumpster, its eye scratched out. He wanted a purebred companion, someone to keep his body warm at night (he could feel cold now, after all). He didn’t mind that he would be abandoning his masculinity if he declared how cute Mr. Muffin was. He didn’t care that he had other responsibilities—university, research jobs, other such details—or that Edward would eventually be forced to rake shit out of a litter box.
But Ed, knowing that Al’s freshly beating heart desired a cat more than anything else in the world, caved in like a mine shaft. Yes, he said; you may get a cat. One cat, do you hear me, Alphonse?
Yes, brother, Al replied. One adorable bundle of fluff, squee~
Naturally, Edward was not surprised when Alphonse returned with what appeared to be the entire pet emporium’s supply of kittens.
To: Taranova
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Nezushi
Warnings: None
You'll be posting your final gifts on the 10th. As always, please post final gifts under a spoiler to avoid page stretchage.
Comments on gifts are welcome and loved, (gifters love seeing their giftees enjoy their work!) but let's keep them all positive. This is a thread for sharing joy, not critique, no matter how well-intentioned. And of course, no spoiling for who you think your gate baby is until the end! xD
Let's get to the gifting!
To: Artemis Day
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Celestia/Discord
Warnings: None
For Duty
“I will stop Discord.”
Luna looks at her. Really looks, with a stare too understanding for a filly.
“Are you sure?” she asks slowly.
“It’s my duty.”
“Your duty, or the Princess’s duty?” her sister asks.
Both, perhaps, she thinks.
Their childhood was irrelevant. Whatever they had been then – playmates, friends, rivals, enemies, lovers – no longer mattered, at least not to him. That had been obvious when she’d gone to him as Celestie, and he’d rebuffed her requests, demands, pleas.
He’d always known he was different. From his first days on Earth he knew he was a Thing. Not pony, not dragon, not any other creature, though Celestia had helped him search in vain for proof that he wasn’t the only one like him. In desperation she had told him – and meant it – that she liked him different. She liked that normalcy held no sway over him.
Looking at her country now, their peace torn asunder, ponies and all creatures living in uncertainty and danger, she mourned that choice. Perhaps, in some ways, this was her fault. She had encouraged the latent chaos in his soul, unable to see him in pain over what he’d simply been born as.
But now her subjects were in mortal harm. His pranks had escalated to dangerous levels, and she could never allow anyone to die because of him, whatever their past. She had played a role in creating this danger, and she would put an end to it.
If he would not cease his dangerous activities by the plea of his oldest comrade Celestie, then he would be forced to by the might of Princess Celestia.
Luna still looks at her as if she knows all that has happened, even the things she hasn’t told her. Sometimes she thinks her sister had an older soul than she should.
“I could go with you,” Luna says. “I’m a princess too–”
“No.” She gently nudges her sister aside with a hoof. “This is my fight. I will stop him, whatever the cost–”
“You won’t be able to kill him. You can’t kill somepony you love.”
She sighs, rests her cheek upon her sister’s for a moment, and leaves the room. She can’t respond to that.
She knows Luna is right.
To: Crowmunculus
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: None
Hamlet.
It was a fairly boring day, all in all. Well, for the mice, at least. Who knew what Nezumi and Sion were getting up to? The mice didn't really care, to be honest, as long as they came home safe. Hamlet was scurrying about amongst the books, and, when he returned to where Moonlight and Cravat had been, they had vanished. He sniffed, trying to locate them, to no avail. Set in his misery (he did have a penchant for tragedies, after all), he began to squeak.
Well, to a human it would have sounded like squeaking, but Hamlet was really reciting a soliloquy.
“To be, or not to be: That is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? T
o die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep...”
At this point Cravat had found his way to where Hamlet was... well, sounding a bit mental, at least to the other mouse's ears. What in the world was he doing? It should be mentioned, at this point, that Cravat didn't particularly like Shakespeare, and, as such, never bothered to remember the lines. Therefore, he took Hamlet's (the mouse) recitation of Hamlet (the character's) soliloquy to be a sign of malfunctioning software.
Much to Cravat's dismay, Hamlet only continued: “To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?”
Cravat was now certain that Hamlet's software was indeed malfunctioning, and considered if he should step in to suggest that he ask Nezumi to check him. However, Moonlight was nowhere to be found, and Cravat was a bit afraid to question the other mouse alone; after all, he thought that Hamlet had gone mad!
“Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.”
At this point, much to Cravat's relief, Moonlight returned.
“--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.”
Cravat quietly squeaked an explanation to the black mouse, and confided his fears for Hamlet's software.
“I'll take care of it,” Moonlight assured him, scampering up to Hamlet. “Are you okay? What are you doing?”
“I humbly thank you; well, well, well.”
Moonlight tilted his head to one side, confused. Cravat seemed to have a point. “Is something wrong with your software?”
“No, not I; I never gave you aught.”
What was he talking about? Moonlight beckoned for Cravat to join him. After some hesitation, the other mouse came up behind Moonlight. “What's wrong with him? Is it a software problem? Should we go find Nezumi to ask him?” Cravat squeaked.
Hamlet looked at Cravat curiously. “Ha, ha! are you honest?”
Cravat was now honestly afraid for the other mouse. “What are you talking about?”
“Are you fair?”
Moonlight turned to Cravat. “How long has he been like this?”
Cravat tilted his head. “Not very long, I think.”
Hamlet continued to have what appeared to be half of a conversation. ”That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should admit no discourse to your beauty.”
Cravat noticed that the rhythm had changed, and turned to Moonlight. “His rhythm's changed. I think he's getting worse!”
Hamlet merely continued. “Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof. I did love you once.”
“Love who?” Moonlight squeaked. “Who is he talking to?”
“There's something wrong with his software! He must be seeing things!”
Hamlet's mood seemed to change into one of anger. “You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not.”
“Moonlight, you should go find Nezumi,” Cravat implored.
Hamlet turned to them, angry. “Get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners? I am myself indifferent honest ; but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me: I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in. What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves, all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery. Where's your father?”
“What are you talking about, Hamlet? What's wrong with your software?” Moonlight asked.
“Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool no where but in's own house. Farewell.” He turned to scurry off, but turned around as Moonlight went to leave. “If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Get thee to a nunnery, go: farewell. Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go, and quickly too. Farewell.”
Moonlight was confused. He was going to get Nezumi, but Hamlet had only turned around to tell him to leave? There was definitely something wrong with the other mouse's software. Cravat had been right. “I'm going to get Nezumi!” he announced.
“I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another: you jig, you amble, and you lisp, and nick-name God's creatures, and make your wantonness your ignorance. Go to, I'll no more on't; it hath made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages: those that are married already, all but one, shall live; the rest shall keep as they are. To a nunnery, go,” Hamlet implored.
Moonlight shot off to find Nezumi. This was really too much for him; surely Nezumi would know how to fix him. He had programmed him, after all. He only hoped that Hamlet wasn't beyond all hope of repair. He was rather fond of his micely friends, and would be very sorry to see any of them be deactivated.
Once Moonlight was far gone, Hamlet turned to Cravat. “What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!”
“What's wrong with me? What was wrong with you?”
Hamlet stood up on his back paws, offended. “I was acting.”
To: Dearheart
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: EdWin
Warnings: None
When Winry’s wrench clamps down on the very top bolt, Ed cringes at the sting of pain that shoots up and down his leg. She tightens it, her face wrought with concentration, her hand resting on his upper leg. He can feel the calluses born from years of handling tools and machinery. The tip of her tongue sticks out from between her lips, and Ed can’t help but notice that she looks kind of cute this way. His face starts to heat up at the thought and he pushes it away, instead focusing on a high level alchemic equation he found in a library book the other day.
She removes the wrench and drops in on her worktable with a clatter, wiping the sweat off her brow and drawing herself up.
“Okay, you’re done,” she says. “Try not to bust it up too much this time. I don’t even know what you were thinking jumping onto that moving train.”
“It wasn’t going that fast,” Ed grumbles as he experimentally lifts the leg up and down. “And it was all that damn Envy’s fault, he ran and I had to chase him.”
“But he still got away,” Winry points out, eyeballing the leg she just fixed. “And you knocked the plating right off. Now enough, I don’t want to argue anymore.”
She adds that last part quickly, when Ed opens his mouth to form some other kind of rebuttal that will likely lead them into an all out shouting match ending with Winry’s wrench imbedded in Ed’s skull.
Ed groans like a child, but says nothing else. He crosses his arms over his chest, the automail one glimmering in the sunlight from an open window. Ed catches a whiff of something right then, something sweet that makes his mouth water. Winry takes notice and gives a sly smile.
“Oh yeah, Granny is making pie tonight,” she explains. “Since you broke your automail again, I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t offer you a piece.”
His jaw drops and she laughs playfully at the comical display. Regaining himself, Ed charges past her, a man on a mission who will not be stopped by anyone or anything.
“We’ll see about that!” he shouts over his shoulder.
Winry makes a noise of indignation and follows him, still laughing the entire way. And though Ed loathes to admit it, her laughter is highly contagious.
To: Helle is a SLYTHERIN <3
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Dr. Who/TARDIS (...I THINK)
Warnings: None
To: Neoeevee
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: None
To: Packrat
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: None
To: PiedPiperPluto
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Fem!Ling/Fem!Greed/Ran Fan
Warnings: Cracky implications of sex
Ooh Miss Greedling: A Fanfiction
Ran Fan lit candles, put on her most attractive outfit, oiled her automail, and then sat down to wait for her lover (lovers? There really needed to be a distinction for multiple souls in a single body…) to return home.
Before long, the door flew open and her girlfriend, Ling, pranced into the room. “Ran Fan! I am home now and I am looking so cute and also my shirt became unbuttoned?”
The fact that something was amiss became quickly apparent. “You’re not swooning,” Ling said.
Ran Fan had to admit, she was not.
“Why not? Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Oh yes! But…”
“But…?” Her face fell. “You don’t want to…?”
Ran Fan shifted her weight. “No, no, I want to! I was just rather hoping Greed would do the entrance…she’s very good at entering a room.”
Ling blinked. Greed, awakening from her nap inside her, took over and began marching their collective body back toward the door. “Relax, I got this,” she said, closing the door, and then opening it again and bursting inside.
“Ran Fan! I am home now and I am looking extremely sexy and also I’m wearing thigh-high boots? And my shirt is still unbuttoned.”
“Ooh Miss Greedling!” There was much swooning. “Let’s do it.”
Greed narrowed her eyes at her. “Yes. And I will let Ling back into control now.”
Meanwhile, within a fandom-wide radius of this event:
Rule 63 being confirmed.
Derpy writers derping up memes.
It was crackful.
The end.
To: PuzzleChick
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: N/A
Warnings: nope.avi
A few months after being restored to human form, Alphonse asked an expected, but formidable, question. Ed had always seen it coming. They had argued about it while the younger had been in armor—sometimes with words, sometimes with actions, and sometimes with an iron silence only they as siblings could understand. It was the principle of the matter, the heart of the equation, which bothered Ed. He had authority as the elder; he had certain powers over household dignities, and he was not about to sacrifice such steel-clad resolve for the benefit of his brother’s whims.
Alphonse Elric asked for a cat.
Not a stray, either, not a whiskered feline plucked from behind a dumpster, its eye scratched out. He wanted a purebred companion, someone to keep his body warm at night (he could feel cold now, after all). He didn’t mind that he would be abandoning his masculinity if he declared how cute Mr. Muffin was. He didn’t care that he had other responsibilities—university, research jobs, other such details—or that Edward would eventually be forced to rake shit out of a litter box.
But Ed, knowing that Al’s freshly beating heart desired a cat more than anything else in the world, caved in like a mine shaft. Yes, he said; you may get a cat. One cat, do you hear me, Alphonse?
Yes, brother, Al replied. One adorable bundle of fluff, squee~
Naturally, Edward was not surprised when Alphonse returned with what appeared to be the entire pet emporium’s supply of kittens.
To: Taranova
From: Your Secret Gate Baby
Pairing: Nezushi
Warnings: None
